


It Wasn't Your Fault

by 4_star_daydream



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Armin Arlert - Freeform, Bertolt Hoover - Freeform, F/M, Mentions of Erwin smith - Freeform, moblit berner - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 14:07:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19111234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4_star_daydream/pseuds/4_star_daydream
Summary: Even "Humanity's Strongest Soldier" has trouble bearing the weight of a tough decision on his shoulders. Canonverse AU; post RTS.





	It Wasn't Your Fault

At dawn she rose, and travelled to where they were gathering for their next expedition. This time they would use lifts to travel over the wall, as the gate had been breached months prior and sealed with a giant boulder.

It was the basis for their current mission, a plan involving not only sealing old breaches, but retaking land that once belonged to the people.

 

The crowd she pushed through was large, way larger than she had ever imagined or witnessed previously. Their jeers had turned to cheers instead, a new found confidence in the soldiers and enough to raise morale.

With a bit of recognition and sweet talk, a garrison soldier allowed her to pass the barrier between the crowd and the gathering of soldiers who waited in turns for rides to the top of the wall.

One hundred soldiers stood, ready to embark on a mission that could very well change history and alter the doomed fate of mankind.

But she looked for only one soldier in particular, and upon spotting him, reached out and gave a quick tug on the end of his cloak.

He turned, a furrow in his brow that softened upon seeing her and her bright smile. Leading her with him, he ducked into an alcove of the wall, away from wandering eyes and long noses that did not need to know his personal business.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him on the neck, the cheek, the lips, and telling him how much she loved him, to be safe, and to have a successful mission. He returned the same sentiments, and pulled back only so slightly to rest a hand on the swell of her belly, giving his love to their child due to make an appearance in just under two months time.

He could not promise he would come back alive, but he knew he had too much he’d be leaving behind if he did not.

With a final kiss, he told her he loved her once again, and parted to join the rest of his comrades atop the wall.

 

She knew not when they would return.

Three days is what they had estimated they would need to accomplish their mission. But their success or their failure could easily alter their estimations.

She hardly slept, switching between lying awake and staring at the ceiling, or sitting by the window and looking at the wall in the distance.

It was not until mid evening of the fourth night did he finally return, silent and sullen, clearly weary from the expedition.

He stepped in and without a word, immediately pulled her close to him. He was a mess, having only had time for a quick refresher upon arriving at headquarters before presenting the results and findings of their mission to the head of the military. But she did not care, caressing his silky, black locks and whispering to him how much she loved him and how happy she was that he was home.

There was no counting how long they stood in each other’s embrace, for time did not matter to them in those moments, nor did the world or anything else.

Following a soft sigh, she told him she would run him a bath, bring him a cup of tea, they could call it an early night. He did not protest, and said nothing further, instead following her up the steps of their home.

He did not say much. She did not ask him much.

_How is your tea, is it too hot?_

_And the bath? Is it warm enough?_

 

She left him to soak, leaving a fresh clothes and a clean towel before changing into a thin nightgown and climbing into bed.

Gently, her hand stroked her belly, a restlessness coming over the child as though wanting to trouble their mother as she attempted to settle into bed for the evening.

But her thoughts lingered on her husband, ranging from relief at seeing him alive to wanting nothing but to comfort and shield him from the dangers of the outside world.

She was tired, but again her thoughts kept her awake, and before long she heard the sound of their bedroom door creaking open and then closed. She felt the bed dip under his weight, his arm coming over her round middle as he pressed himself against her back. Her head fit into the crook of his neck and his face buried into her titian hair with a sigh through his nose.

Silence. Steady breathing. And nothing else.

Minutes passed, and she thought he may have fallen asleep, but with a long, drawn breath and exhale, he finally broke the silence.

_One hundred men they had been._

_Only nine returned._

_Wall Maria had been sealed and soon to be reclaimed._

_Bertholdt had been captured and consumed by Armin, who now was a shifter, just like Eren._

_Reiner and the beast titan were still at large._

_Moblit had sacrificed himself to save Hanji._

**_And Erwin…_ **

Her breath hitched, and she could hear the trouble he so desperately tried to hide in his voice.

_Erwin had suffered a catastrophic injury while charging the cavalry against the beast._

_And it was he who chose to give the titan serum to Armin and let Erwin die._

 

Silence fell over them once again, this one heavy and an uncomfortable weight on their chests. She felt his grip around her tighten, before coming loose, as though he felt he did not deserve to be with her, or with anyone, for having made such a decision.

But she did not shy away, she did not leave his side in disgust. Truly, she was upset and saddened by the loss of so many, of the loss of two dear comrades, of the man who commanded her throughout her military career.

Instead, she turned and faced him, her hand resting gently on his cheek as she locked his gaze with hers.

_The world has asked so much of him._

_It was unfair how much weight his shoulders were expected to bear._

_He has done so much for so many people, and his heart was the kindest she had ever encountered in her life._

_She loved him. She loves him. She will always love him._

_No matter who did or didn’t survive, this wasn’t his fault._

_It wasn’t his fault._

_It wasn’t his fault._

_“Levi…It wasn’t your fault.”_

 


End file.
